All my conscious life — a brief awakening at two and a half while hearing about the horror of Hiroshima on the radio; another at seven with a sudden, inexplicable feeling of unity with all of creation as I walked down the street in summertime; full-on coming to consciousness at 26, with a near-death experience in the hospital — I’ve been attracted to taboo. To that which our culture holds so fiercely in denial that it carries a terrific charge which once released, powers regeneration.
And what is more terrifying to our youth-worshipping, death-defying culture than death, dying, grief, the process of facing, embracing and integrating overwhelming loss?
So yes, I find myself magnetized by these “depressing” subjects. In what most people hold at arms’-length, I sense the potency of transformation.
A few years ago, I collected the essays which I had written after my husband’s death in 2003 into an award-winning book, This Vast Being: A Voyage through Grief and Exaltation.
Last year, in July, I suffered the sudden loss of Emma, my beloved little four-year-old Coton de Tulear dog. Emma, and wrote out my grieving process afterwards. Five posts in all, from July 6, to July 28. Here they are, in chronological order:
Shock Requiem
Losing Emma: The first 24 hours
Post-Emma: How to begin again with this blog?
Contemplating Emma: Love’s Abundance
With Emma’s passing, my suffering is her blessing
This summer, the long-anticipated process of losing beloved parents, both in their mid-90s, has finally begun. And with it, my process, as I learn how to let them go.
During three recent trips to Seattle, this blog ground to a halt, except for posts about my time there with the folks and our large family. Here they are: June, July, and August/September.
JUNE (6/3-17):
Update on Dad
Into the Heart of Love
Update: Seattle and the family
Reader: “What your family has done has created an energy that is rippling out to the rest of the world.”
I re-enter the current of the frenzied, foaming noospheric NOW while absorbing the deeper quiet of the very very old.
JULY (7/18-26)
Seattle, again, with family, day two, July, 2012: the folks and the nukes.
Seattle, day three, July 2012: the murmurings and Mom
Day four, Seattle, July 2012: movie massacres and hang gliders
Seattle, Day Five, July 2012: Here come the clowns, and the joke’s on me!
Seattle, Day Six, July 2012: Communion, with walks — and release!
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER (8/28- 9/8)
Our father, Bernard L. Kreilkamp, finally let go of his suffering body
Seattle, August 30: Dad’s big chair, empty, Mom starts to fill her own shoes
First days in The Grieving Time
I flew home two days ago. And continued to write these posts:
A Paean to Providence Mount St. Vincent
Post-loss: Addressing failure to thrive, or: war is hell.
So here I am, once again dipping my toe into the ocean of grief, learning how to surf the waves. Each post that relates to The Grieving Time will be also archived on this page.
September 12, 2012: Post-Dad: Chopin, lethargy, studies, phone call with Mom, and a sharpening of focus
September 17, 2012: Uranus/Pluto Tales: of a sudden shift at night, insomniac
September 21, 2012: Uranus/Pluto Post-Dad: Reliving a pattern that binds
[On September 23, I fell and fractured my right wrist. On the sixth day I began to see this event as part of my grieving process and decided to call this subsection Fractured Wrist Chronicles.]
FRACTURED WRIST CHRONICLES
September 23, 2012: OOPS!
September 24, 2012: surgery today
September 27, 2012: WOW! Can move fingers without pain . . .
September 28, 2012: Fractured wrist chronicles, day six
September 29, 2012: Fractured Wrist Chronicles: Day Seven, victory and perspective
September 30, 2012: Fractured Wrist Chronicles: Day Eight, more victories and perspective
OCTOBER 2012
October 1, 2012: On Mining My Life for Meaning
October 3, 2012: Fractured Wrist Chronicles: Day Ten, doctor appointment
October 7, 2012: Fractured Wrist Chronicles: Two week anniversary and WOW! A Narrow Escape
October 12, 2012: Post-Loss: In the middle of her sorrow, Lady Renee rebirths herself
November 9, 2012: Rachel Maddow lacerates the Republicans; lets ‘em know what is and is not “real”
URGENT: False Flag Involving Israel to Implicate Syria in the Works Says RT
Tony Cartalucci
Activist Post
After a stunning geopolitical move by Russia and Syria involving the surrendering of Syria’s chemical weapons arsenal, the special interests seeking war have been forced to adjust their rhetoric and timetable around what is now a quickly dissolving casus belli.
The surrendering of Syria’s chemical weapons would not only critically set back rhetorical arguments being made to justify war with the nation, but would also preempt future false flag operations in the works.
Perhaps fearing war was not possible, just such a false flag appears to have been exposed by Russia’s English language news service, RT. RT claims sources have discovered a plot by terrorists to carry out a chemical weapons attack on Israel from government-controlled areas within Syria for the sole purpose of framing the Syrian government and provoking an Israeli retaliation.
[…] es handele sich um eine einheitliche Front gläubiger Moslems gegen den Rest der Welt. 10/9 The UN Has Had Evidence That Syrian Rebels Have Been Using Chemical Weapons Since […]
← David Swanson: The 99% have awakened, and we recognize our power
Three RT backstories for NOW: chemical hypocrisy, new Israel false flag, and 9/11 “Gladio”
Posted on September 15, 2013 by michaellee2009 http://www.israeleconomy.org/strat1.htm
A Clean Break: A New Strategy for Securing the Realm
Following is a report prepared by The Institute for Advanced Strategic and Political Studies’ “Study Group on a New Israeli Strategy Toward 2000.” The main substantive ideas in this paper emerge from a discussion in which prominent opinion makers, including Richard Perle, James Colbert, Charles Fairbanks, Jr., Douglas Feith, Robert Loewenberg, David Wurmser, and Meyrav Wurmser participated. The report, entitled “A Clean Break: A New Strategy for Securing the Realm,” is the framework for a series of follow-up reports on strategy.
Rejected by the island video display because it Athbt the correspondents involvement in the kidnapping of entire families from rural Latakia.
Diese Berichte stimmen mit Videos der Mudschaheddin Pressestelle auf YouTube nur sechs Tage vor dem Angriff überein, die bestätigen, dass die Terroristen hunderte von Frauen und Kindern aus den ländlichen Dörfern der Alawiten Hochburg Lattakia entführt hatten, um sie als Faustpfand im Konflikt zu verwenden. Wurden diese Entführungsopfer nach Ghouta gebracht, um im Chemiewaffenangriff getötet zu werden? Ist das, warum so viele Kinder in diesen weitgehend geräumten Bereichen da waren – und warum so wenige Eltern im Video erscheinen, die ihre Kinder betrauern?
Sunday March 27, 2016
The Brussels Airport is Israeli Mossad Terrorist Headquarters by Tom Heneghan, International Intelligence Expert
Israeli Mossad motto: “By Way of Deception, Thou Shalt Do War”
source
UNITED States of America – It can now be reported that European INTERPOL, reference the French Defense Ministry, has issued thirty-five (35) RED NOTICES aka warrants for the immediate arrests of active Belgium and German security and immigration officials that have aided and abetted the activities of the major European ISIS terrorist cell headquartered in Hamburg, Germany aka the Kurt Becker 9/11 terror cell. READ MORE
“GOD IS; I AM; WE ARE”
“BE GOOD, BE LEGAL, TELL TRUTH”
Love & Light ~Apollo
Apollo Solaris 
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